People Can Be Funny Like That
by arandomshipper
Summary: Moana and Maui go on a cruise. Pure fluff.


Disclaimer: I'm not an owner, I'm just a random shipper.

 **People Can Be Funny Like That**

Moana had her hands on the rail of the massive cruise ship, looking contentedly out at her beloved ocean. An enormous pair of arms encircled her slowly from behind. She leaned back into Maui's touch with a happy sigh.

"Enjoying yourself?" He whispered in her ear.

"Always." She turned her head back and up to kiss the cheek she could just barely reach as he bent over her.

"I'm glad." He stroked her hair. "You work too hard. The people need to learn to depend on someone else for a change. They can get by without you for a few weeks while you take a well-deserved break."

"Oh, that reminds me, I need to-"

"No."

"But I-"

"No."

"But-"

"Alright, that's it. Jacuzzi time." He picked her up bridal style and carried her over to the hot tub. She squealed in laughter and put her arms around his neck for stability.

The other passengers of the cruise watched the display, some with disgust, some with awe, some with indifference, but Moana and Maui were unaware of the attention they were getting.

Until the whispers started. Maui's hypersensitive ears twitched, unwillingly picking up pieces of conversation.

"Gross. That kind of age gap is just...gross. What is wrong with him?"

"They really have no shame. If you're going to have that kind of ugly relationship, at least have the common decency to keep it under wraps. Flaunting it with the constant PDA's is just shoving all our faces in it."

"I will never understand that. How you can date someone THAT much younger than you..."

Maui was quietly seething, slowly coming to a boil, but he did his best to hide it from Moana, who remained blissfully unaware, not having godlike hearing. To distract himself (and maybe also to spite the onlookers), he pulled Moana into his lap and buried his face into her neck and hair, breathing deep. Moana giggled. "What's gotten into you?"

"What? A guy can't enjoy a little quality time with his wife?"

"Of course you can." She splashed water on his face playfully and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "You're just being a little bit more aggressive than usual today."

"Yeah, well, maybe I'm just _feeling_ a bit more aggressive than usual today." He growled, then gave her a series of play-bites on her neck, sending her into beautiful peals of laughter, music to his ears.

They played around for a while, Maui slowly tuning out and forgetting the people around them, until Moana indicated she was getting thirsty. When he got up to get her a drink, a man approached him. "Excuse me, are you two..."

"We're married." Maui said stonily, just barely keeping his rage in check.

"Oh! Oh, I see! Well, I just wanted to say, I totally support you. Not that it means much coming from some random person you've never met, but I really admire you, big guy. You should be proud."

"Finally! Someone gets it!" Maui's bad mood instantly cleared up. He slapped the guy on the back companionably. "Yeah, she's a real catch, isn't she? I got lucky with that one, and I'm not dumb enough to let her go."

The man staggered under the weight of Maui's casual slap, wincing. "I think it's just great how you don't let the age thing bother you. I mean, if there's love then age shouldn't matter, right?"

"Exactly! That's exactly what I've been saying! You're a real smart guy." Maui lowered his voice. "And just between you and me, she's very, very mature for her age. In aaaaallllllll kinds of ways. That was a pleasant surprise to discover, eh?" He elbowed the man significantly, nearly flattening him.

"Um, that wasn't quite what I..." The man started uncertainly.

"Oops, I need to get going. Don't want to keep the wifey waiting." As he strode away quickly with the drinks, he yelled back over his shoulder, "But I'm not whipped! I'm not! Just so you know!"

Moana and Maui sat at a table to enjoy their drinks, looking deeply into each other's eyes as they sipped. When Moana got a good mouthful, Maui said, "Let me try some of yours."

She pushed her glass over to him, but he ignored it and leaned across the table to kiss her deeply. The awkward positioning did nothing to deter him from lengthening and deepening the kiss even further as he felt her smile into his mouth. Who knows how long the kiss would have lasted, had Maui not heard the conversation of two girls in their mid-twenties watching them from a table away, making no attempt to keep their voices down.

"That's disgusting. She should be ashamed of herself. Like, just date someone your own age, you know?"

"I know, right? And it's double gross, cause that guy is actually pretty yummy, if he wasn't dating that...thing."

"Yeah, but who wants a deviant like that? If he wants that kind of 'girl' then I've got no interest in him."

"ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT!" Maui roared. Every eye on the cruise ship turned to look at him in fear. "I have had it with you humans and your arbitrary, stupid conventions and cultural taboos! Yes, she's younger than me, but come ON! We waited as long as we could, okay? I'm thousands of years old, that gap isn't going to shrink anytime soon! And look at her! Just look! How long do you expect me to wait for THAT?!" He pointed at a few random guys. "Could you do it? Could you? You? No, I didn't think so! I'm sick of being criticized for lack of restraint when I was ten times more patient than anyone else would've been! Shut your me-damned traps and leave me alone!"

There was a long silence after he sat down, but eventually people began to go back to what they were doing.

"Maui," Moana said gently, taking his hand. "When was the last time we went somewhere people didn't know us, like this cruise we're on?"

Maui's forehead wrinkled in thought. "I think it was back before we were actually 'dating' dating, when I was still trying to pretend I hadn't fallen for you. You were probably...eighteen at the time?"

"Right. I need to explain something to you." She sighed. "They weren't mad because you're too old for me. They were mad because I'm too old for you."

Maui snorted. "That literally makes no sense. You're just a spring chicken."

"Yeah, well." She pressed her wrinkled cheek into his palm. He gently took a lock of her white hair and pressed it to his lips. "People can be funny like that."


End file.
